With this ring, I _____ wed.

Yep!  Many people don’t know this phrase, “With this ring, I thee wed.”

The words thee and be sound nearly alike.  Yet they don’t mean the same thing!

Probably 30% of the time, couples hear the word wrong, even though i really enunciate the T H sound of Thee.  So I often hear, “With this ring, I be wed.”

Maybe I’m just old and know the phrase from movies and older tv shows, and English weddings, and well wait, current TV shows too!

If you can think of a good phrase to use, I’ll give you credit!

Lipstick….

The only thing I know about lipstick is that it can look weird on a groom after the bride kisses him!

What surprises me is the reaction the bride often gives when she has purposely put on the bright red lipstick, yet is shocked when she see it on the groom after the kiss!

I’ve given away hundreds of Jos A. Bank handkerchiefs because after the kiss the groom has bright red lipstick on, the bride tried to wipe it away and now it looks even worse!!

Red lipstick can look stunning on the bride, but not so much on her groom!

Brides consider the color of lipstick you wear when walking down the aisle.

Share your experience!

 

First look before the wedding….

…I’m not a fan of it.

Not for superstition. Not for bad luck.

To many times it’s very obvious to me when the couple has a first look before the ceremony.

What are the signs?  There are two.

First, when the person walking down the aisle looks at everyone rather than the finance.  Even waves to them.

Second, you cannot recreate the emotions you’ve had when you saw your loved one in their wedding attire, unless you are an actor!

I understand the importance of the photographer wanting to capture the first look, make it staged, and to make it very emotional.  The photos can be awesome!

However, those same emotions can’t be seen by the guests at the wedding.

If you can do the first look as your fiancé awaits for you at the other end of the aisle, I’d so go that route.  You may have more emotions.  But I think your guests will become emotional too!

Why hire an officiant rather than having a friend officiate the ceremony?

Not to be flippant but why hire a professional photographer when a friend has a phone, maybe even a camera?

Why hire a caterer when a friend has a kitchen?

Why hire a florist when you can get flowers at the store?

Why hire a professional when a friend can do it?

Recently a very popular and beautiful wedding venue in Savannah told me about a “horrible” (their words not mine)  experience with a guy who went online and “got” ordained just to officiate the ceremony of people he didn’t know but hired him for their ceremony.

At the ceremony he went on and on for 10+ minutes about another couple from another state.  He’s a great story teller and the story was interesting but it didn’t fit with this couple’s wedding day!  And the ceremony was over 30 minutes in length, nearly a 1/3rd was a story that didn’t even fit the wedding.

Simply because someone goes online and gets ordained for a minimal cost, doesn’t make them qualified to preside at a wedding.  It makes them legally able to officiate a ceremony, that’s different!

Here are things which 99% of officiants don’t know and are important for a great ceremony!

  1. Have a good quality handkerchief for either the grooms perspiration or the bride’s tears, or both!  I’ve given away hundreds of them over the years, maybe even 500.
  2. I know the best way to have exchange of rings go absolutely smoothly!  I should patten it!
  3. Listen for the pauses when the couple repeat their vows.  It’s important to listen for their emotions when they speak, listen don’t rush.
  4. How loudly should I speak during the ceremony if they don’t want a microphone for me?
  5. No stories off the cuff!  The ceremony dialogue is known ahead of time by the couple.
  6. Who stands first when the bride walks in?
  7. Is an aisle runner a good idea?
  8. What to do during awkward moments?
  9. The wedding ceremony is not from the bible.  “Jesus was a guest at a wedding the Cana of Galilee” is about the best one can do other than the readings often read at weddings.

Let me know what questions you have about hiring the right officiant for your ceremony.  You don’t even have to hire me to officiate your ceremony.  I don’t mind helping!

To Microphone or Not to Microphone?

Recently I was asked this about an upcoming wedding:

So sorry, forgot to ask, but do you bring a microphone and small portable speaker? If not, no big deal, we can project our voices!

To have a microphone/PA system or not to have it; i get asked this often. One would think it’s a simple answer to that question, but it’s not.

Not to have a microphone for me is fine. However, it comes with drawbacks.  Having a microphone comes with drawbacks too. You’ll have to decide which is best/most important for you two and your guests.

This is from my experience.

Have you ever raised your voice in frustration?  Maybe even calling for a pet?  In doing so it changes your emotions. I can project my voice, that’s not the problem.  I’ve learned how to do it and keep the feel of the ceremony the same.  However, it’s sorta like YELLING in ears of the couple.  Yes, that is sort of an exaggeration, but not much.  When I speak loudly so the people in the back of the room can hear it is like yelling at the two of you.  That in turn changes the dynamics and feel of the ceremony for you two.  Imagine listening to a TV program about romance with the TV volume level of high!  It’s sorta counter productive.

Next, the same reasoning applies for you two, projecting your voices so the people in the back can hear.  You’d sorta be like yelling at one another (again a bit of an exaggeration).  Not only is the listener affected, but the person speaking also has to change.  They are more worried about their volume level than the meaning and emotions which come with that most precious moment.

Having a microphone comes with drawbacks as well.  Yes, the people in the back of the room will hear everything.  The drawback is the actual microphone.  Yes, I’d have a lapel microphone.  People will hear me.  But what about the two of you?  Will each of you have a hidden microphone? Will the groom have one and his mic will have to be turned up so people can hear you?

If I hold a hand held microphone for each of you that would work, but what about how it looks?  I can hand each of you a microphone to hold, and that way you can still hold each other’s hand while repeating after me.  There are two different basic types of microphones: ones which are directional (blocks out all background noises) and which is omni-directional (picks up all sounds equally).  Another option is for each of you to hold the directional mic when it comes to you repeating after me.  Another option is for me to hold the omni-directional mic so it will pick up you two when you speak.

Your family will be the closest to you two during the ceremony, they will hear everything regardless of whether a microphone is used.

I could provide a good quality sounding portable speaker for an additional fee.  However, it would be less expensive if you have a DJ do it.  I would have to charge for a person to be there an operate it, adjust volume, eliminate any squawk/feedback issues, placement of both speakers.  Yes, I think it’s better if two speakers are used so that the volume is balanced.

Lots of things to consider.

Glass Ceremony!!!

Many people use the traditional Unity Candle ceremony or the Sand ceremony as part of their wedding ceremony, however the Glass Ceremony is something new.

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Recently a couple I married had this as part of their ceremony and I loved it so much I’m blogging about it!   I can’t wait to see the piece of art work which will be created!

This is from their ceremony.

JODIE and KIM have chosen to commemorate their marriage by creating a very special piece of art together. Along with the support of their parents and children, they will combine colored glass crystals today and then have a glass art piece blown into a single sculpture, which will live in their home to represent the beauty of this moment.

Each container holds a unique color which is representative of the separate and individual characteristics of each person. 

JODIE and KIM have chosen shades of white to represent the new beginning that today represents. White is a color of protection and encouragement, purity, wholeness and completion.

Shades of blue will be added by their parents and children. The color blue is the color of the sky and sea – both continuous and endless. The multiple shades represent depth and stability, serenity, faith and loyalty.

I will add gold to represent God’s presence in their marriage.

The blending of these individual glass crystals represents the separate and individual characteristics of each person, and when combined will beautifully complement each other, and make a stronger oneness that is held together with timeless love, commitment and support.

Let us enjoy this moment as JODIE and KIM, along with their parents and children, take this step to unite their love.

Copyright 2016 “A Wedding With Rev Schulte”