Minister/Officiant · Uncategorized · Vows

Can we write our own vows?

Without a doubt, YES!  And, I encourage it!

Most of the vows on my site were created/modified by different couples I have had the privilege to marry over the many years I’ve been officiating weddings. The couples who have written their vows have found it meaningful. At least that is what they have told me.

There’s really no format that I’ve found over the years for writing your own.  Some have taken the vows I have listed and modified them, thereby creating their own.  What’s the best way to write your vows?

  • I would say first and foremost would be to make sure you have the quality time to spend, if you rush, you may not like the outcome (but each of us are different, some of us like to procrastinate.)
  • Then read over vows, those from my site and those you’ve found elsewhere.
  • Then strike through the vows that won’t work (process of elimination.)
  • Next, would be to find parts of the vows you have selected and use some of the words there.

It might be helpful to read the printed vows and just cross out the vows/lines/words that don’t work for you.  Or use a highlighter on the ones you like.

Once you have them written, I would be more than happy to look over them to see how they flow.

The next step is delivery: do you read them, memorize them, or repeat after me?  I like it when one reads (or holds it incase they forget a word) it to the other (rather than have me say them first) while holding the other person’s hand(s).  I think it looks very romantic that way.  It also is better, in my opinion, to hold the vows rather than to do it from memory and then stumble.

Please share your thoughts  here or on