Over the last 20 years that I’ve been officiating weddings, there have been many awkward moments. I’ve been hesitant to share any of them for fear of embarrassing the bride/groom/guest. Most of these examples below are years ago ;-)
- Brides, when you show your garter at a wedding/reception, make sure you keep the dress from going above your thigh! Not sure if guests want to see your underwear.
- Grooms, if you think you my emote (cry/tear/runny nose) bring a hanky. it’s not pretty when your running nose drips to the ground in long strings all while you try to sniff it back in.
- Unless you are French, please don’t french kiss.
- Brides, when you go to pull out the vows you have written for your groom, please don’t turn towards me to hide that fact that you are pulling them out of our bosom.
- Don’t let the skinniest groomsmen go out drinking the night before a wedding – he may just pass out.
- Brides, if you’re going to have a drink before your wedding make it just one, not seven! It will be obvious to everyone, but you, that you are not walking down the aisle straight. And, guests will notice if you call out their name as you are walking down the aisle waving to them.
- If you say you’re going to write you own vows, PLEASE have them written and DO NOT do them extemporaneously. It might sound good in your head, but not to your guests when they hear you say, “you’re the best women i’ve ever slept with.”
- If the groom is going to drink so much that he has to go to the bushes to relieve himself minutes before the wedding starts, make sure that the one been seen coming out of the bushes with him isn’t a female. Especially if he’s zipping up his trousers.
- If your groom hasn’t met your father, consider choosing a time that isn’t when I ask “who gives their blessings to this bride to be married to this man?”
- Grooms, if you’re going to start your wedding on time, make sure your parents know that you’ll start without them. (It’s beyond me why a parent would be 30 minutes late to a wedding when it’s across the street from their hotel).
If you have more awkward moments, PLEASE share them!