Who has the right….

…to judge others?  Certainly not me.

The phone call recently about a couple who was being judged by their officiant because it was a second marriage (read into it, “you were divorced”) got me thinking about the right to judge others.

The couple that called asked me to officiate their ceremony.  I said I’d be honored.

I often get judged and I really try not to judge others – I don’t have the right to!

I have been judged on: where I live, that I was/is a yankee, what I drive, yep – my hair is thinning, that I like to go to sleep early,  and so on.  When I was a child I would be judged/made fun of because I  played the clarinet and tuba (not at the same time!)

Recently someone asked me when I got out of my car at a Christian event – with a very judgmental tone (the kind that you’d give a child when you say, “did you spill the milk?”),

“What do you do for a living?  What kind of car do you drive?”

Never in my life have I felt so judged because I drive my nearly seven year old midlife crisis convertible.

If I were to arrive anywhere in a car like this, I would be judged because I drive a car like this.

1978 Ford Pinto

 

The fact is, I used to own a car just like this! And, it was the first car I owned in my name (well, me and and finance company.) It was purchased used in 1983ish.

So now the world officially knows, I drive a white convertible!

Who has the right to judge others?

Share your thoughts.

What’s the weather like for our outdoor Savannah weddings? Do you think it will rain?

I’ve had that question asked lots of times over the years.

we arrived by boat to the ceremony

For the most part, we don’t get too much rain.  And, when it does, it is rare that it lasts for all day.  Recently I had a wedding/elopement on a Sunday at 5pm.  Everyone wanted the ceremony outside, yet the forecast was rain, rain, rain.  Off and on all day I would check the weather on the web (including my phone), looking at the radar and satellite images, and putting them in motion/animate.  It stopped raining at 4:10pm and the sun came out about 15 minutes later!  Yet, earlier that morning it was forecasted to rain all day!

Now the question, is it too wet outside for a wedding?  It depends on you.  In order to make an informed decision, here are some thoughts.

• Can the chairs be dried off in time?
• Will the musicians play under the still dripping oak trees?
• Will you, the bride, get your hair wet from the dripping trees.
• The ground is wet, whether it is a sidewalk, bricks, or grass, even though the rain stopped.  If the bottom of your long dress gets wet while you walk in, is that okay?

The last point above really is just about the most important question.  Do you mind if your dress gets wet?  Is having your ceremony outside worth getting the bottom of the dress dirty and wet?

I’ve had weddings outside where the guests used umbrellas, as did the bride and groom (under one) as did I.  And I’ve had weddings where the couple had reserved a tent as a “just in case it rains” back up.

With online weather sites so readily  available it is pretty easy to find out the weather as far as 10 days in advance.  But with that said, the weather changes here, often.  And it can be raining on the islands, but not downtown.  I have seen it several times in the years I’ve lived here where it was raining in Savannah, just not downtown!  We have strange weather here.

One last note, it is rare where I’ve had a wedding rained out.  More times than not, the bride didn’t want to get the bottom of her dress wet, or her shoes.  Of the weddings I’ve had moved indoors because of the weather, 90 percent of them could have still happened outside.

Finally. You’ve heard that it is good luck for a couple when it rains on their wedding day.  Well, you’ve heard the phrase “we’ve going to tie the knot.”  When a rope is tied in a knot and it gets wet, it is nearly impossible untie it because the rope has expanded with the water it absorbed.

Share your thoughts here or on http://www.twitter.com/revschulte