Facebook · Weddings · What I don't know

What do I do beside marry people?

I do lots of things besides marry people!

Last week I cut firewood left over from Hurricane Matthew (Oct.2016).  This week I’m burning it in the fireplace to help keep my home warm, plus it looks nice!

Sometimes I have to do projects around the house: paint; dig a trench; mow the lawn, paint (intentionally twice cause I seem to paint a lot!); clean; handyman; and typical home owner duties.  IMG_9192

I’m an Uber and Lyft driver just for fun.  But not sure it’s fun when people leave my car dirty 😦

Three to four times a week (on the average) the local Y sees me working out doing TRX, circuit training, and sometimes yoga.

I do Short Term Vacation Rental out of the carriage house on the back of my property.  Its a daily laundry and cleaning duty.

And I’m a pastor of a small Lutheran Church about 10 minutes from downtown Savannah.  In 1994 I started there and soon will be celebrating my 25th anniversary.  Doesn’t seem possible that I’ve been there that long, until I look at pictures of me from when I first arrived there and see that I have dark hair 😦

Plus a vacation or two a year!



Awkward Moments · Elopements · Facebook · TV · Vendors · Weddings · What I don't know

With this ring, I _____ wed.

Yep!  Many people don’t know this phrase, “With this ring, I thee wed.”

The words thee and be sound nearly alike.  Yet they don’t mean the same thing!

Probably 30% of the time, couples hear the word wrong, even though i really enunciate the T H sound of Thee.  So I often hear, “With this ring, I be wed.”

Maybe I’m just old and know the phrase from movies and older tv shows, and English weddings, and well wait, current TV shows too!

If you can think of a good phrase to use, I’ll give you credit!

Microphone · Outdoor Location · Weddings · What I don't know

To Microphone or Not to Microphone?

Recently I was asked this about an upcoming wedding:

So sorry, forgot to ask, but do you bring a microphone and small portable speaker? If not, no big deal, we can project our voices!

To have a microphone/PA system or not to have it; i get asked this often. One would think it’s a simple answer to that question, but it’s not.

Not to have a microphone for me is fine. However, it comes with drawbacks.  Having a microphone comes with drawbacks too. You’ll have to decide which is best/most important for you two and your guests.

This is from my experience.

Have you ever raised your voice in frustration?  Maybe even calling for a pet?  In doing so it changes your emotions. I can project my voice, that’s not the problem.  I’ve learned how to do it and keep the feel of the ceremony the same.  However, it’s sorta like YELLING in ears of the couple.  Yes, that is sort of an exaggeration, but not much.  When I speak loudly so the people in the back of the room can hear it is like yelling at the two of you.  That in turn changes the dynamics and feel of the ceremony for you two.  Imagine listening to a TV program about romance with the TV volume level of high!  It’s sorta counter productive.

Next, the same reasoning applies for you two, projecting your voices so the people in the back can hear.  You’d sorta be like yelling at one another (again a bit of an exaggeration).  Not only is the listener affected, but the person speaking also has to change.  They are more worried about their volume level than the meaning and emotions which come with that most precious moment.

Having a microphone comes with drawbacks as well.  Yes, the people in the back of the room will hear everything.  The drawback is the actual microphone.  Yes, I’d have a lapel microphone.  People will hear me.  But what about the two of you?  Will each of you have a hidden microphone? Will the groom have one and his mic will have to be turned up so people can hear you?

If I hold a hand held microphone for each of you that would work, but what about how it looks?  I can hand each of you a microphone to hold, and that way you can still hold each other’s hand while repeating after me.  There are two different basic types of microphones: ones which are directional (blocks out all background noises) and which is omni-directional (picks up all sounds equally).  Another option is for each of you to hold the directional mic when it comes to you repeating after me.  Another option is for me to hold the omni-directional mic so it will pick up you two when you speak.

Your family will be the closest to you two during the ceremony, they will hear everything regardless of whether a microphone is used.

I could provide a good quality sounding portable speaker for an additional fee.  However, it would be less expensive if you have a DJ do it.  I would have to charge for a person to be there an operate it, adjust volume, eliminate any squawk/feedback issues, placement of both speakers.  Yes, I think it’s better if two speakers are used so that the volume is balanced.

Lots of things to consider.

Credentials · Elopements · Marriage LIcense · Minister/Officiant · Vendors · What I don't know

What is a “Non-Denominational Officiant?”

Simple answer: someone who went online and got ordained just to be able to marry people. Not necessarily a pastor of a church.

In the State of Georgia, there are only two types of people who can marry a couple: Judges and Clergy. We do not have “Justice of the Peace” here in the State of Georgia.  If someone claims to be a Justice of the Peace, they are not legally able to marry a couple in the State of Georgia.

Just a silly picture of me standing next to a carriage.  I just love the arrow pointing to me!  Oh wait, it's pointing to the crosswalk!
Just a silly picture of me
standing next to a carriage.
I just love the arrow pointing to me!
Oh wait, it’s pointing to the crosswalk!

“Clergy” can be any religious figure: pastor, chaplain, rabbi, preacher, imam, sangha, priest, bishop, maybe even prophet.  Nearly all the time, a clergy person has had religious training and schooling.  For example, in order to be a Lutheran Pastor, I had to have a Bachelors Degree prior to entering seminary (which is an additional 4 year program).  Making it a total 8 years of educational instruction after high school.

In order to be a “non-denominational officiant” it takes about 20 minutes and some money,  then in the eyes of the State of Georgia it qualifies them to be a person who is considered “clergy.”  Those persons often call themselves Reverend, because technically they are.  I too am a Reverend, yet it took me more than 20 minutes.

I’ve heard of many people going online to get ordained to marry couples, celebrities often do that in order to marry a celebrity couple.  Am I opposed to these non-demoninational wedding officiants?  Only when they pretend to be a pastor or religious leader, maybe wearing clergy collar and attire, or when they don’t even believe in God and only do this for the money (I doubt they go to worship services anywhere).

How do you know if your wedding officiant has a religious educational background, such as myself, or went online?  Simple: ask them.

Share your thoughts!

What I don't know

Savannah Weddings: Evening with the Experts!

This is a GREAT opportunity to learn from the experts!!  Evening with the Experts. Not only are these ladies excellent at what they do, I will be there too during the Q&A!!!  It’s worth it isn’t it???  🙂 Yes, you’ll be able to meet with them, but me too!!!

I have worked with each of these experts over the years and they are excellent!!!  They will each share with you from their own experiences: Cakes, Photography, Flowers, and Planning!!

One of the questions I have is, why pay $75.00 to go hear an expert when you can come meet with me at Starbucks, talk about your ceremony and only pay $7.00 for two drinks?

I’ve done lots of weddings over the years, and I know a lot about the ceremony but there is so much more I don’t know.  Here’s a few of them:

  • What makes a good cake?
  • how to get a flash on the camera to work?
  • how to pin the boutonniere on the groom so that it doesn’t flop over?
  • who goes first down the aisle, mother of bride or mother of groom?
  • how do you hold the flowers?
  • how do you walk with heels on?
  • what colors go well together?
  • what type of tux is best?

I’ve had couples ask me the most of the following, many times over the years (there’s A LOT more I haven’ listed!):

  • Why hire a coordinator when you can get all the vendors yourself?
  • Why pay a photographer lots of money when you can get someone new to the field for a lot less? or a friend can do it for free?
  • Why pay a florist when you just need a dozen roses wrapped in ribbon for your bouquet?
  • Can’t we just use a CD player?
  • We’re going to use walk-talkies instead of a coordinator, do you think that will work?
  • can we use an ipod for the music? do you have one we can borrow?

I hate to say it but the old saying is correct, “we get what we pay for.”  Here are some things that I have seen over the years, all true stories:

  • wilted flowers for bouquets, from a florist!
  • photographers showing up in shorts and a t-shirt for a formal wedding
  • lopsided cakes
  • boutonnieres pinned on upside down!!!
  • coordinators who don’t have things under control and everything falls apart the last 10 minutes.
  • photographers taking photos one foot behind me!!!  What are they thinking!!  Can’t they afford a zoom lens?
  • coordinators who don’t show up
  • flowers that aren’t what the bride wanted
  • waiting for the flowers to show up for the bride
  • photographers being rude to guests and the bridal party
  • photographers showing up with hand size cameras!
  • coordinators not knowing who is in the wedding party!
  • cakes which showed up late to the reception!
  • if you have a friend or family member “do” your ceremony (flowers, cake, minister, coordinate, photographer) and they mess up?  Do you lose a friend?
  • Will a family member be able to tell an outspoken future family member what to do or will they be intimidated?

These are just the ones off the top of my head!

Each of us could change the oil in our vehicle, it doesn’t take rocket science knowledge, just the right tools, but we pay someone to do it for us.  Each of us could cook every meal and never go out to eat, but we pay someone to cook for us. It is cheaper to eat out, but (or should it be AND) it probably tastes better. I could make coffee at home (which I do every morning) so why go to Starbucks?  I could make something similar at home, right?  AND finally: The other day two of us went to see the movie “It’s complicated.”  Two tickets, one popcorn and two drinks: cost: $40.00. I could have waited till the movie came out at Netflix, but didn’t want to wait.

If you really want to save money on your wedding, then go spend $75.00 and learn from them!!

The problem with going:

I can only see one huge problem with spending that money and going to the Evening With The Experts: After meeting them, you will want to hire them for your ceremony!   Their personalities and knowledge will just blow you away!

I’ve only heard good things about all these experts!

Come learn from them (and of course me too!!)

Share your thoughts!! Here or at www.twitter.com/revschulte

BTW, there will be more than just four experts there!!