Not all wedding vendor reviews are accurate…

…yes, that is correct.  Whether they be online reviews or just by word of mouth, what people say about your wedding vendor may be inaccurate or skewed.

Why would people do that?  It’s probably easier to answer why bad things happen to good people, than to answer why do people say say inaccurate (or outright lies) words about their (wedding) professional.

I’ll give some possible answers.  These are not listed in any particular way.

1.  Some people are just not happy people and like to share their misery with others.

2.  Some reviews are given in hopes of getting a refund.

3. Other reviews are given to hurt people.

4. Weddings are stressful times and some people will focus on a portion of the day that needs to be let go.

5. Some reviews are given by another wedding vendor to try to ruin someone’s business.

6. I’m sure there are other reasons.

I can give examples, some personal, of all of above.  However, I’d rather give one example this is not accurate  or true- just an example. I give couples the opportunity to choose their own ceremony from my website.  They then can modify it or use it as is.  They can even send me one they created and ask me to use it.  My contract has a place on it for their choice of ceremony.  Imagine if I get a complaint from a couple after the ceremony: we didn’t like the ceremony that you used for our ceremony.    So, please help me understand why this example would be my fault?

How important is it to be able to have a choice in your vows?

My parents are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary in two weeks.  I called the “Wedding Chapel” in TN where the ceremony is to take place.  When I asked for a copy of the vows and ceremony, the response, “the minister uses the Bible.”  I asked again to see the vows and ceremony, and when the response was the same, I asked to speak to the minister, saying to her that I was a minister in Savannah, GA (hoping that would help).  The responce, “I can’t give out his phone number.” And when I asked if he could call me, I was told “I’ll ask him about that.”

All I was wanting to do was see the ceremony!!

How it started was I created a great renewal of vows ceremony and I asked if the minister would be able to use it.  A quick, “no” was the answer.  Really, he won’t use a different ceremony?  Down hill from there!!

And when I asked if I could do the ceremony, I sure could if I paid and EXTRA $100.00.  Can you believe that!!!??? I have to pay the chapel so that their minister doesn’t have to show up!!!

So this is what I know:

• the location,
• to use their silk (note: reusable) flowers that we can’t keep is $80!!!
• the time of the ceremony
• the minister is male

This is what I don’t know:

• name of minister
• experience of minister
• type of ceremony
• what are the vows
• do the vows have “love, honor and obey” in them?
• length of ceremony
• personality (or lack thereof) of minister
• are there any testimonials for the minster?

Maybe I’m different than most, but I think it is very important to be able to have the ceremony you’d like.  That is why I give so many choices,PLUS I help customize the ceremony and vows!!

So yes, I think it is important for the couple to have a say in their ceremony!

Thanks for listening to me (technically reading) vent!!!

Share you thoughts and experiences.

PS. I’ll keep you updated on the end result!

Can we write our own vows?

Without a doubt, YES!  And, I encourage it!

Most of the vows on my site were created/modified by different couples I have had the privilege to marry over the many years I’ve been officiating weddings. The couples who have written their vows have found it meaningful. At least that is what they have told me.

There’s really no format that I’ve found over the years for writing your own.  Some have taken the vows I have listed and modified them, thereby creating their own.  What’s the best way to write your vows?

• I would say first and foremost would be to make sure you have the quality time to spend, if you rush, you may not like the outcome (but each of us are different, some of us like to procrastinate.)
• Then read over vows, those from my site and those you’ve found elsewhere.
• Then strike through the vows that won’t work (process of elimination.)
• Next, would be to find parts of the vows you have selected and use some of the words there.

It might be helpful to read the printed vows and just cross out the vows/lines/words that don’t work for you.  Or use a highlighter on the ones you like.

Once you have them written, I would be more than happy to look over them to see how they flow.

The next step is delivery: do you read them, memorize them, or repeat after me?  I like it when one reads (or holds it incase they forget a word) it to the other (rather than have me say them first) while holding the other person’s hand(s).  I think it looks very romantic that way.  It also is better, in my opinion, to hold the vows rather than to do it from memory and then stumble.

Please share your thoughts  here or on http://www.twitter.com/revschulte